Less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve

Deep down, we all know that for every problem there is a solution. Many times, the solution is obvious to a dispassionate observer, which is the primary reason corporations as well as entrepreneurs hire outside consultants.

Often, the reason we cannot see these obvious solutions is that we are trapped in our emotional reactions and habitual ways of seeing life.

The alternative to dealing head on with problems is to clear your mind instead of filling it with painful, confusing details. Quiet down, reflect, and listen.

Allow your wisdom, that softer part of your thinking, to surface. More often than not, seemingly out of nowhere (actually from Supersoul – the Lord in the heart), you will have an insight, an answer to your problem.

The less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve!

Try something different

Most people are stuck right where they are. The reason they’re stuck, however, isn’t usually due to circumstances, incompetence, or lack of opportunity, but a simple unwillingness to change, to try new things.

We can make smaller, inner changes on a day-to-day, moment to moment basis – changes in our attitude, reactions, and expectations. I’m talking about being willing to take new risks, and face old fears.

Over and over again I hear people saying things like “I’ve always done things that way” or “That’s just the type of person I am.” These things are said as if they are carved in stone. It is amazing what you can learn by simply opening your mind and trying new things.

Starting today, tell yourself that you are going to do something, however small, a little differently. Perhaps you can be more friendly to the people you work with. Maybe it’s not too late to overcome your fear of asking others to help you, or for their advice whoever you are, whatever you do, there is always something you can do a little differently.

You may find that you love the tiny changes you make and that you can open exciting new doors by making relatively small adjustments. If you’re okay with the changes, you might want to try some other changes as well.

Center of Love

If you throw a stone into the middle of a pool of water, a circle will expand to the limit of the bank. Similarly, radio waves expand in a circle, and when you capture the waves with your radio you can hear the message. In the same way, our loving feeling can also expand.

At the beginning of our life, we simply want to eat. Whatever a small child grabs, he wants to eat. He has only personal interest. Then, when the child grows a little, he tries to participate with his brothers and sisters: "All right. You also take a little." This is an increase in the feeling of fellowship. Then, as he grows up, he begins to feel some love for his parents, then for his community, then for his country, and at last for all nations. But unless the center is right, that expansion of feeling—even if it is national or international—is not perfect.

So the center of our national feeling or our international feeling is not fixed on the proper object. If the center is right, then you can draw any number of circles around that center and they'll never overlap. They'll simply keep growing, growing, growing. They'll not intersect with one another if the center is all right. Unfortunately, although everyone is feeling nationally or internationally, the center is missing. Therefore your international feeling and my international feeling, your national feeling and my national feeling, are overlapping and conflicting. So we have to find the proper center for our loving feelings. Then you can expand your circle of feelings and it will not overlap or conflict with others'.

That center is Krishna, The God.

Create from the inside out

You can work long and hard, be creative, clever, talented, and insightful – but if you fail to understand the importance of your own thoughts in the process of creation, it will all be for naught.

One very important factor of success, abundance, and the creation of prosperity comes from within yourself – your thoughts. A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad, cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.

If you could look into the minds of successful men and women you would discover a wealth of positive energy – thoughts of success and abundance, and a complete lack of doubt.

A wise man said: “Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.”

I’ve known many successful people in many different fields. Although they have vastly different talents, temperaments, skills, work ethics, and backgrounds, they all have one thing in common: their success originates in the mind and translates into the material world. It doesn’t work the other way around, as so many seem to believe. Successful people know that the one aspect of life that they do have control over is their own thinking. All of us have this same advantage, so let’s all start there!

Peace formula

The great mistake of modern civilization is to encroach upon others' property as though it were one's own and to thereby create an unnecessary disturbance of the laws of nature. These laws are very strong. No living entity can violate them. As a state is protected by the department of law and order, so the state of Universe, of which this earth is only an insignificant fragment, is protected by the laws of nature.

This material nature is one of the different potencies of God, who is the ultimate proprietor of everything that be. This earth is, therefore, the property of God, but we, the living entities, especially the so-called civilized human beings, are claiming God's property as our own, under both an individual and collective false conception. If you want peace, you have to remove this false conception from your mind and from the world. This false claim of proprietorship by the human race on earth is partly or wholly the cause of all disturbances of peace on earth.

In the Bhagavad-gita Lord Krishna says that He is the factual enjoyer of all activities of the living entities, that He is the Supreme Lord of all universes, and that He is the well-wishing friend of all beings. When the people of the world know this as the formula for peace, it is then and there that peace will prevail.

Ask yourself - What have I contributed to this problem?

Many people rarely, if ever, ask this critical question. Instead, they automatically assume that any problem they are having must be someone else’s fault. If there is a disagreement or argument, it’s the other person’s fault. If something went wrong, someone else made a mistake.

It simply never occurs to many people that something is their fault. Or, at the very least, that they may be partly responsible. On the surface, it might seem nice to believe that you’re never to blame. The problem, however, with this “never blame me” philosophy is that you’ll rarely be able to pinpoint the one aspect of problem solving that is truly solvable: your own contribution. Once you eliminate the fear associated with admitting that you are, at times, responsible for the parts of your life that aren’t working – minor annoyances and larger problems – you open a whole new door of possibilities.

Once you’re willing to accept responsibility for the problems in your life, you will see obvious solutions that take very minor adjustments to change.

Obviously, I’m not suggesting that everything is your fault, or that you should spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy thinking about your faults and drawbacks. To do so would be a different type of negative habit. It’s critical, however, that you’re honest about your contribution to your problems. Don’t bury your head in the sand. If you truly want to excel in your life, you must be willing to look in the mirror and, with humility and honesty, reflect on your contributions to what’s not going right in your life. That way, you can do something about it.

HARD WORK

Why is a highly posted government officer given better facilities for a comfortable life than an ordinary clerk? The answer is very simple: the important officer has to discharge duties of a more responsible nature than those of an ordinary clerk. Similarly, the human being has to discharge higher duties than the animals, who are always busy with filling their hungry stomachs. But by the laws of nature, the modern animalistic standard of civilization has only increased the problems of filling the stomach. When we approach some of these polished animals for spiritual life, they say that they only want to work for the satisfaction of their stomachs and that there is no necessity of inquiring about the Godhead. Yet despite their eagerness to work hard, there is always the question of unemployment and so many other impediments incurred by the laws of nature. Despite this, they still denounce the necessity of acknowledging the Godhead.

We are given this human form of life not just to work hard like the swine or dog, but to attain the highest perfection of life. If we do not want that perfection, then we will have to work very hard, for we will be forced to by the laws of nature. In the closing days of Kali-Yuga (this present age) men will have to work hard like asses for only a scrap of bread. This process has already begun, and every year the necessity for harder work for lesser wages will increase. Yet human beings are not meant to work hard like animals, and if a man fails to discharge his duties as a human being, he is forced to transmigrate to the lower species of life by the laws of nature.

Dealing with problems

Most people assume that the only way to solve problems is to work on, or struggle, with them. I have found, however, that focusing on problems is one of the key ways of keeping them alive – as well as preventing you from moving past them. Focusing on problem is also a key ingredient keeping people stuck in worry.

I can assure you that there is a way to get from where you are to where you want to be without focusing on problems. It’s natural, virtually effortless, yet far more effective alternative to the usual “roll up your sleeves and solve this problem” manner of dealing with issues.

Recently I knelt down to clean up some glass and a piece got stuck in my knee. I ended up at the urgent care center getting ten stitches. We all know that the worst thing I could possibly do to the healing process would be to poke or pick at my scab. A wiser method is to treat the wound gently, creating the best possible healing environment. Miraculously, the wound will heal all by itself.

Most problems can and should be dealt with in a similar manner. The thoughts we have around our various issues create and trigger emotional reactions. What usually happens is that we spend our time and energy dealing with these reactions instead of the actual issue. Simply put, when we are frightened, angry, or impatient, we lose our bearings and get in our own way. Instead of bringing out the best in ourselves and others, we bring out negativity and squeeze out creativity.

Use the power of reflection

Often, when we’re looking for an answer, we “turn up the volume” of our thinking. This might be called active problem solving. We think, think, think—and then we think some more. We get personally involved in the process.

For the most part, when we are actively thinking, we’re thinking about that which we already know, that with which we are familiar. We try to solve a problem at the same level of understanding that initially created it. And often we go around in circles.

Recently I was engaged in an interpersonal conflict with someone I was working with. In my mind, I was blaming him for virtually all of our problems. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that the problem was with him. It got so bad that I considered breaking up the friendship, which, to that point, had been very pleasing.

Then another friend of mine suggested I stop thinking about it entirely and postpone making any decisions. He suggested instead that I take it easy and spend some time in quiet reflection. I took his advice.

As I quieted down, it became clear to me that a great deal of our problems were actually coming from me. I could see how I was contributing to our poor communication and had many unrealistic expectations.

Something of the past

Anytime you are fixated, immobilized, absorbed in, or even overly concerned with something that is over – whether it happened this morning or ten years ago – constitutes reverse gear.
   
The reason people find it so difficult to get out of reverse gear is that they can so easily justify being there. In other words, they argue for their “right” to be in reverse by saying things like, “But he did sabotage the deal,” or “She did criticize me in public.” People will use the fact that events actually took place as evidence to support their anger and frustration. What they usually fail to see, however, is that right now, in this moment, the event they are frustrated about is over. The only factor keeping it alive is their memory, their own thinking.
   
Obviously, it’s important to learn from our past, from our mistakes. I can assure you; however, that being in reverse gear will not help you do so. To learn from our past experiences, it’s helpful to gently reflect on the way we have done things. Reverse gear isn’t gentle. In fact, it’s harsh.
   
The way out of reverse is to notice how it feels to be in reverse. If you can observe yourself – your mind, your thoughts, your attention – focused on past events, or past frustrations, you can gently bring your attention back to the present. Training your mind to stay out of reverse can be a little like training a puppy to stay at your side. The puppy will stay for a minute, and then dart away. Your mind is like that, too. It can stay focused for a minute or two, then dart backward to an annoyance from this morning or a frustration from yesterday. The most effective way to train your puppy is to gently lead him back to your side. The same approach works with your mind as well. As you notice your thoughts drifting backward, remind yourself that the past is over and done with. Then, gently and easily, guide yourself back to the here and now. All it takes is a little patience and some practice. Pretty soon, your tendency to be in reverse gear will be a part of your past.

Story of Appreciation

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic
achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.
 
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
 
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
 
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
 
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother
shivered when they were cleaned with water.
 
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
 
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
 
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
 
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
 
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
 
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
 
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
 
The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping
my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
 
The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of
others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
 
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?
 
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Encourage creativity in others & have faith in them

Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

When you encourage creativity in others and have faith in them, it’s like creating the ideal conditions for a garden.

You are “planting the seeds” for an environment where success is most likely to occur. When you plant a garden, you want to have the right type of soil, moisture, and sunshine. When you build people up – instead of pushing them down – you create the psychological equivalent.

The same principle applies whether you are hiring a housekeeper, an accountant, or anyone else. It also applies to your children, your spouse, your friends, and your neighbors. It always works.

When you believe in someone and when that person knows that you believe in him / her, magical things can happen. Do your part by creating the ideal working conditions. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Then, sit back and watch what happens.

As you treat others, so shall you be treated

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What are some other ways of saying this magical formula? Let’s see. What goes around, comes around. As you treat others, so shall you be treated. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. There are many variations of this.

All you have to do to ensure that you will be treated fairly, respectfully, and with kindness – and to ensure that others will reach out to help you and praise you – is to do these things yourself.

Become a thoughtful person. Offer assistance. Be nice. Reach out to others. Become even more generous. Say “Thank you.” These, and hundreds of other similar little gestures, are the ways you can reach out and tell the world you care.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, what you offer to the world is exactly what you get back. So, if your goal is to be Krishna Conscious, the most important thing you can do is help others be Krishna Conscious.

Don’t make the mistake of becoming upset or frustrated if your acts of kindness don’t come back immediately. The universe has its own set of rules and its own sense of timing. Be patient and loving.

Banish your doubts !!!

Most of us spend a great deal of energy every day of our lives doubting our abilities – to our great detriment. We doubt ourselves at practically every turn; we doubt our abilities to write well, speak to a group, come up with a new idea or solution, overcome an obstacle, market a product or service, or negotiate with a difficult person.

Many times, we question our self-worth, how much we deserve to be paid, or how valuable or talented we are to an organization. We doubt our ability to overcome rejection, start over, or confront a challenge.

Banish doubt from your life – all of it. This doesn’t mean you should start doing foolish things or making childish decisions. It means you should start trusting in yourself. True obstacle lies within the doubt itself – and all doubt lies within your own thoughts.

It’s silly to hold on to any doubt in your life. It does no good. All doubt is a waste of energy and interferes with your natural ability to do things. Whatever doubts are lingering in your mind, let them go.

Excellence.....

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"
   
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
 
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and satisfaction of God.

Warmth in human relationships

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
  
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
  
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
The husband just said, "I am with you."
  
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
 
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
 
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your jealousies, un-forgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Your self-defeating beliefs

All of us have beliefs that get in our way. For me, it was my belief that “I didn’t have enough time.” Day after day, for most of my adult life, I would remind myself of this limiting concept. Sometimes I would tell myself this many times in a single day.

What possible value could there be in telling yourself this – or any self-created negative belief? Consider the subtle message that go along with this idea. After all, if I believe that “I don’t have enough time,” I must also believe that “I’ll never get something done on time,” as well as other related, limiting ideas that directly interfere with my success and quality of life. Does this belief help me get things done? Of course not! Does it bring me joy? No. Any effect this belief has is strictly negative.

What’s your most self-defeating belief? Is it that you believe you aren’t good enough? Maybe you believe you don’t deserve success. Perhaps you believe that people are out to get you, or that you are a victim of circumstance. Whatever it is, it’s not worth keeping and certainly not worth defending. But each time you remind yourself – by telling yourself – of your limiting belief, you are reinforcing an idea that directly interferes with your success. It puts a wall between where you are where you want to be.

Each time I slip into my old habit of telling myself that I don’t have enough time, I keep in mind the damage I am inflicting on myself. I remind myself that there is zero value in this, or any, self-defeating belief. You may be surprised, even shocked, at how often you repeat self-defeating statements to yourself and/or to others. The good news is that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easily you can rid yourself of their negative effects. Make a commitment to yourself to stop reinforcing this – and all – negative beliefs by discussing them, or even thinking about them. As familiar negatively comes to mind, gently dismiss it. Don’t give it your valuable attention. Save your energy for positive ideas and action.

Anatomy decoded

Formerly leaves and twigs were growing from this dead tree.. Why are they not growing now? Can the scientists answer this question? Scientists say that the chemicals are the cause of life. But all the chemicals that were there when the tree was living are still present. And life energy is also there. There are thousands of microbes in the tree, and they are all living entities. No one can claim that life energy is lacking in the body of this tree.

The living force is individual, and the particular individual living entity which was the tree has left. This must be the case, since all the chemicals that are necessary to support life are still there yet the tree is dead.

Here is another example: suppose I am living in an apartment, and then I leave it. I am gone, but many other living entities remain there—ants, spiders, and so forth. It is not true that simply because I have left the apartment, it can no longer accommodate life. Other living entities are still living there. It is simply that I—an individual living being—have left. The chemicals in the tree are like the apartment; they are simply the environment for the individual living force—the soul—to act through.

Honesty

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.
   
Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves – more than anyone else.

What is Maturity?

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

Maturity is to have patience.

Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.

Take advice

Once upon a time, there were three people who went to watch drama together. One of them was far-sighted, another one had a hearing problem, and the other had a twisted head.

After the show, they were judging the drama.

“Today’s show had great singers, but the costume design was poor,” said the person who had farsightedness.

“The costume was perfect, but the sound was too low,” said the person who had hearing problem.

“The sound was loud and the costume was fine. Everything was great, but the performance stage was lopsided,” said the person who had twisted head.

From the story above, most people do not admit their shortcomings. It’s because the person, who had farsightedness, cannot see things in clarity, but complains about the costume; the one, who had hearing problem, cannot hear things clearly, but complains about the music; the one, who doesn’t admit his twisted head, but complains about the performance stage.
  
According to statistics, the vocabulary most often used in our daily communication is either “I” or “me”. Aren't conflicts among human and disputes among nations, the results of over-emphasizing one's opinion?

Accept sincere advice and the reality of truth given by others. One who is willing to take advice and relinquish one’s ego can work well with others.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

A great football coach once said,” Just because you’re doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won’t help.”

Yet, how often do we do just that? We are making a mistake, getting ourselves into trouble – and, instead of backing off, reflecting, and doing it differently, we roll up our sleeves and do the very same thing even more intensely!

The same pattern exists in many areas of our lives. Many people have a great deal of conflict to manage. Whenever a potential new conflict arises, or the environment or circumstances seem to be encouraging that development, instead of backing off and looking  for new ways to defuse the situation, they charge straight ahead, as always – repeating their identical patterns and responses, taking the adversarial approach – and, once again, find themselves in the middle of another drama or conflict. Then, frustrated and stressed, they assume the world is to blame, or that they need to find more effective and more aggressive ways to deal with things. This is the essence of being in a vicious circle. The same essential problems come up over and over again, unless and until you see your own contribution – and vow to do something differently.

The solution is simple, but not always very easy. The trick is to recognize when your part of the pattern is being repeated; for example, “Here I am, arguing again,” or “I’m upset by the very same things – this sure feels familiar.” Then, rather than clenching your fists, feeling frustrated, filing your mind with stressful thoughts, and trying the same old thing, you instead relax, back off, and empty your mind. Soften and try to see the situation in a whole new way.

God is always around us

A man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a cuckoo bird sang. But, the man did not hear.

So the man yelled, "God, speak to me" and the thunder rolled across the sky. But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said, "God, let me see you." And a star shined brightly. But the man did not see.

So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away, and walked on.

The man cried, "God, I need your help!" And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying

Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted.

Perfect Understanding

If a boy wants to know who his father is, the simple process is to ask his mother. The mother will then say, "He is your father." This is the way of perfect knowledge. Of course, one may speculate about one's father, wondering if this is the man or if that is the man, and one may wander over the whole city, asking, "Are you my father? Are you my father?" The knowledge derived from such a process, however, will always remain imperfect. One will never find his father in this way. The simple process is to take the knowledge from an authority—in this case, the mother. She simply says, "My dear boy, here is your father." In this way our knowledge is perfect. Transcendental knowledge is similar. Spiritual world is not subject to our speculation. God says, "There is a spiritual world, and that is My headquarters" In this way we receive knowledge from Krishna, the best authority. We may not be perfect, but our knowledge is perfect because it is received from the perfect source.

Although the understanding of God is a difficult subject, God explains Himself in the Bhagavad-gita. He says, "I am like this, and I am like this. The material nature is like this, and the spiritual nature is like that. The living entities are like this, and the Supreme Soul is like that." Thus everything is completely described in the Bhagavad-gita. Although understanding God is very difficult, it is not difficult when God Himself gives us His own knowledge. Actually that is the only process by which we can understand God. To understand God by our own speculation is not possible, for God is unlimited and we are limited. Our knowledge and perception are both very limited, so how can we understand the unlimited? If we simply accept the version of the unlimited, we can come to understand Him. That understanding is our perfection.

Be willing to take advice

Generally speaking people don’t take advice, even good advice. This is true even when the advice is free and when it’s offered with love. Think about yourself. How often do you really, honestly take someone else’s advice? How often do you say to yourself, or out loud, “That’s a great idea. That’s a much better way of doing it than the way I have been doing."

In order to grow, we need to see things differently. We don’t want to do the same things over and over if they’re not working well. Instead, we want to open our eyes to new and improved ways of doing things. But how can we see things differently if we refuse to take to heart the suggestions from others?

Sometimes, the reason we don’t take advice is pure stubbornness. We want to do things our own way – even if it’s not working! Other times, we avoid advice out of fear. We might be frightened that we’re going to look bad in the eyes of someone else, or that we’re going to seem incompetent. Or we might be fearful that the advice we get isn’t going to help. Sometimes we’ve received bad advice or too much advice, and we vow to not repeat that same mistake.

Life is so much simpler when you involve the strengths and expertise of others. After all, if you absolutely knew what to do to make your life better or more successful, you’d be doing it already. But if you’re struggling in any aspect of your life (and we all do), you need advice. So take the advice.

Self-confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
   
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
   
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
   
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
   
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
   
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
   
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
   
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
   
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Delight in the success of others

Let’s be honest here. Have you ever found yourself secretly wishing someone else would fail? I don’t mean you wish them any serious bad luck, only that they don’t become more successful than you? Sometimes it’s hard to wish others well, particularly those you know well – friends, colleagues, neighbors, family members. It’s hard to see a colleague get the promotion you worked so hard for. It’s difficult to see your friend on television, or your neighbor able to purchase a new car. We’re human; we get jealous.
   
While it can be at least habitual, to secretly desire to keep others at your level, it’s absolutely not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart that everyone can expand to their greatest potential, to wish that the people you know, and those whom you don’t know, can all realize their dreams and achieve greatness.
   
When you wish someone well, it creates a momentum within you, an inner environment of success. It reminds your spirit of your loving and deserving nature. It creates the atmosphere within you to help you succeed and create abundance. When you delight in the success of others, it’s as if you are sprinkling the seeds for a garden of success.
   
As you wish others well, notice how good it feels. When your wishes are sincere, they will serve as a reminder that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Truly, it feels as good to see someone else succeed as it does to succeed yourself. Start delighting in the success of others and watch your own level of greatness soar!

Stay away from the blame game

One of the most insidious tempting habits is the habit of blaming others or external conditions for our failures, mistakes, problems, and lack of success. You might call it “the blame game.”

Blaming others is a very easy thing to do. It creeps into our lives in subtle, as well as not so subtle ways. It shows up in our thoughts and in our conversations. We might, for example, think to ourselves, “I’d be more successful if the products I were selling were of better quality,” or “I’d make more money if I had taken a different career direction”. We might attribute our lack of fulfillment to changing times, recession, a missed opportunity, or too little education. Or, we might complain “I can’t help it, no one ever taught me how to close a deal.” The habit of blaming can and does happen in almost any situation – we blame our competitors, employer, the government, our personal history, our age, even our parents or current family responsibilities.

It’s not that our tendency to blame is without any merit. There usually is a grain or truth in our complaints. But that’s part of the problem. We can almost always justify to ourselves why our version of the blame game is valid. But all that does is keep the game going. And in doing so, we move away from the solution. It’s really easy to blame our lack of exercise on our schedule – it’s little tougher to admit that we are not prioritizing.
 
Most of the time blaming isn’t blatant. It’s far more subtle. And that’s precisely why it’s hard to identify – and put an end to. Yet, if you can have the humility to admit that you, too, fall into this habit from time to time – and you can identify those instances – you will have opened the door to success in life.

You catch more flies with honey

When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.

When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.

When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.

It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity.

Universal Message

Where is the religion which does not recognize God? One may call God "Krishna" or "Jesus" or something else, but where is that religion which does not recognize God? We are teaching that one should simply try to love God. We are attracted by so many things, but if our love is reposed in God, then we will be happy. We don't have to learn to love anything else; everything else is automatically included. Just try to love God. Don't try to love just trees or plants or insects. This will never satisfy. Learn to love God. That is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's mission.

Be careful what you ask for

Many of us spend a great deal of time wishing things were different. We dream of a “better job,” less of this, and more of that. Sometimes, the things we spend our energy longing for actually do (or would) improve the quality our life. Other times, however, the very things we wish for are hardly worth the trade-offs, or the effort. For this reason, I suggest you be really careful what you ask for.

Carefully think through what it is that you want, because you just might end up getting it, which is often – more frustration, more grief, more travel, more conflict, more demands on your time, and so forth. When you think in these terms, it often helps you reconnect with your gratitude and realize that perhaps things aren’t as bad as we sometimes make them out to be.

I’ve met plenty of people who spent years focused on how much better their lives were going to be when certain things occurred – i.e. when they were finally promoted to various positions – so much so that they took for granted the good parts of the position they already had. In other words, they were so focused on what was wrong with their careers that they failed to enjoy and appreciate the gifts they were enjoying all along.

Keep in mind that a better paying position might make you feel more financially secure and it might be worth it – but you may give up other things that you haven’t yet considered, or that you simply take for granted. Remember; be careful what you ask for, because you might just get it – and more.

Don’t keep people waiting

Time is precious to everyone. It’s a bad habit to keep other people waiting. Almost everyone feels that one of their most valued commodities is their time. This being the case, one of the ultimate slaps and most sure way to annoy someone is to keep them waiting. While most people are somewhat forgiving, keeping them waiting is a sign of disrespect. The subtle message is, “My time is more important than yours.”

Deep down, we all know that no one likes to be kept waiting. Therefore, it’s highly stressful to keep other people waiting because you know you are disappointing someone. In the back of your mind, you know well the person is looking at his watch, wondering why you are late. You may be keeping him from personal or professional commitments and that could make him angry.
   
There are obviously exceptions to the rule – times when factors beyond your control prevent you from being on time. Things happen to all of us, and no one has a perfect record. Truthfully, however, a vast majority of the time, being late is preventable by planning ahead, allowing a little extra time, or making allowances for unexpected problems.
   
Many times we compound the problem by making excuse like “traffic was horrible,” when, in reality, traffic is virtually always horrible. The problem wasn’t traffic – but the fact that we didn’t factor enough time in our schedule for the traffic. It’s likely the case that, even if traffic was horrible, or you got off to a late start, or whatever the excuse, the other person isn’t going to be interested or impressed.
  
I wouldn’t underestimate the negative impact of making someone wait. It drives some people crazy. And, even if they don’t express their frustration to you directly, it can show up in other ways – not taking you seriously, avoiding you when possible, being disrespectful, choosing to spend their time with others instead of you, showing up late to your future appointments, etc.

Keep yourself healthy - physically and emotionally

Many times people say things like, “I don’t have time to exercise,” what they really should be saying is, “I don’t have time not to exercise.”

If you lose your health and sense of well-being, you won’t make it to work at all. In the long run, it takes far less time to take care of yourself than it does to lose your ability to function well.

One should eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest, have regular physical checkups, and partake in other healthy habits. In addition to the obvious problems associated with ignoring these commonsense health habits, you can see that it’s also a horrible waste of time in the long run. Each cold or flu costs you days of productive work time. Who knows how many years of time you will save by simple taking care of yourself?

Take care of yourself – physically and emotionally. You can let go of your fear that you’ll fall behind because, in fact, you’ll be more productive and have a longer, happier life. So keep yourself healthy – physically and emotionally.

Being Immortal

Matter changes in six phases: birth, growth, maintenance, production of by-products, dwindling, and death. But the life within matter, the spirit soul, is eternal; it goes through no such changes. Life appears to be developing and decaying, but actually it is simply passing through each of these six phases until the material body can no longer be maintained. Then the old body dies, and the soul enters a new body. When our clothing is old and worn, we change it. Similarly, one day our bodies become old and useless, and we pass on to a new body.

As the embodied soul continually passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. This means that only the material body of the indestructible and eternal entity is subject to destruction. This material body is perishable, but the life within the body is nitya, eternal.

Be willing to seek out, listen to, and take advice

I believe that if someone has worked hard, achieved some measure of success, and is willing to help, I’d be a fool not to listen! Plus, as you probably already know, almost everyone loves to give advice.

Unfortunately, many people miss out on one of the surest shortcuts to success: to seek out, listen to, and take advice. So often, when a person struggles, he or she is very close to a major breakthrough. They are literally “an inch away” from achieving their goals and dreams. If they would just open their eyes to a blind spot, see something they are doing in a slightly different or new way, their success would be phenomenal and certain.

I believe there are many incredibly talented people who are on the verge of possible greatness, or on the verge of improving their life in a meaningful way. Yet this one tiny flaw – the unwillingness to listen to anyone else and the absolute unwillingness to take advice – consistently gets in their way. Don’t let this minor obstacle get in your way.

The advice is out there. People want to help you. Allow yourself to receive help and the quality of your life will soar.

Quest for Happiness

Suppose a man is thrown into the ocean. He may be an expert swimmer, but he cannot be happy in the ocean because he is out of his natural condition of life. The only way he will become happy is if someone picks him up from the ocean and places him on the land.

So if we are serious, if we actually want to be happy, we must take to the cultivation of spiritual understanding, an understanding of Krishna consciousness. Of course, in every country of the world there is some religious system, some system for understanding spiritual life. But unfortunately, almost nobody is interested in spiritual life because people have been induced to become addicted to material, or sensual, activities. They are going further and further away from spiritual life and becoming more and more confused. Disappointment is rising all over the world.

So to mitigate this disappointment and confusion, one has to take to Krishna consciousness. Try to understand the philosophy of Krishna consciousness, and act accordingly. Then you will be happy.

Facing problems in life

You can be annoyed by problems in life; think about how unfair and awful they are, complaining about them with others. You can remind yourself, over and over again, how difficult life is and how this problem is yet another justification for why you “have a right” to be upset! You can tighten up. Unfortunately, this is the way many people approach their problems.

When you think of your problems as speed bumps on a road, however, they begin to look very different. You’ll begin to expect a number of speed bumps to present themselves during a typical day. Like riding a bike, bumps are simply a part of the experience. You can fight and resist, or you can relax and accept.

As a problem shows up during your day, you can begin to say to yourself, “Ah, here’s another one.” Then, like the bump on your bike ride, you begin to relax into it, thereby absorbing the shock, making it seem less significant. Then you can calmly decide what action or decision is likely to get you over this hurdle in the most effective, graceful manner. The calmer and more relaxed you remain, the easier it is to remember & depend on the Lord. Lord will then guide what best you can do in a given situation or circumstance.

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 18.58

If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditioned life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost.

Driving Ahead

Suppose I am driving a very nice car, but I am simply absorbed in the machine only. I have forgotten my destination, where I have to go, and I am busy studying the car. What is the use? You may be driving a good car, but you must know how to reach your destination. That is your main business. Knowing how the car works is secondary. Your main business is knowing how to utilize the car so you can reach your destination. That is intelligence.

So, we have fallen into this material condition, and we are occupying various forms. As long as we are in the bodily concept—thinking "I am this 'car'"—that is ignorance. What is wanted is to think, "I am not this body. I am spirit soul, and I have to utilize this body to go to my destination—the spiritual world—where I can meet the supreme spirit, God, and live in His association." Human life is meant for understanding what the Supreme Lord is, where He lives, what He does, and what our relationship with Him is. To seek to understand these things is called inquiry into the Absolute Truth. That is actual education.

Stop Anticipating Tiredness

I overheard two men speaking. It was as if each person was trying to convince the other, and perhaps themselves, how many hours and how hard they were working, how few hours of sleep they were going to get, and, most of all, how tired they were going to be. I wasn’t quite sure if they were bragging or complaining, but one thing was certain, they were appearing more and more tired the longer the conversation continued. 

The problem with anticipating tiredness in this way, or in any way, is that it clearly reinforces the tiredness. It rivets your attention to the number of hours you are sleeping and how tired you are going to be. Then, when you wake up, you are likely to do it again by reminding yourself how few hours it has been since your head hit the pillow. Who knows what really happens, but seems to me that anticipating tiredness must send a message to your brain reminding you to feel and act tired because that is the way you have programmed yourself to respond.      

Clearly, everyone needs a certain degree of rest. I’ve read a few articles suggesting that many, if not most, of us don’t get enough sleep. And if you’re tired, the best possible solution would probably be to try to get more sleep. But in those instances when it’s not possible to do so, the worst thing you can do, in my estimation, is to convince yourself, in advance, that you are going to be exhausted.      

I’ve noticed this habit of anticipating tiredness creep into the conversations of many people. If you are someone who does this, see if you can avoid the tendency as much as possible. If you do, you may find yourself feeling less tired.

Perfection of Life

When one goes to prison he has to put aside his usual dress and take the prison dress. Similarly, anyone who comes into this material world has to take a material body. This is the law. Unless you have this material body, how can you feel pleasure in material sense enjoyment? It is just like performing on stage: if you are going to play a certain part, you have to dress accordingly. Therefore, this material body is compared to a dress. For example, every lady and gentleman; every one of us; has a different dress.

But our dress is superficial. As human beings we are one. Similarly, each one of us has a different bodily dress, but spiritually we are one. And this is true of all living entities: they are in different bodily dresses only.

The dresses are calculated to total 8,400,000 different forms. In the water there are 900,000 different dresses, and there are 2,000,000 different types of trees and plants. There are 1,100,000 species of insects, 1,000,000 types of birds, 3,000,000 types of beasts, and 400,000 forms of human beings. In this way, the living entity is passing through different dresses.

And the best dress is this human form, because in this dress you can understand what God is, what you are, and what your relationship with God is. Then you can act in that relationship and go back home, back to Godhead. In this human form of dress you have developed consciousness.

But if you miss this opportunity to understand God, then again you will be put into the cycle of the evolutionary process. We should not, therefore, misuse this human form. We should utilize it properly to understand the unlimited God and our relationship with Him, and to act on this knowledge. That is the perfection of life.

Change what you can & accept the things you can't

There is prayer that says: “Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In life there are things we must deal with. There are things we can change, that we have some power to control. There are other things that are absolutely beyond our control. Yet how often do we spend our time and energy doing absolutely nothing about the things we do have some control over, while whining and complaining about those things we can’t do anything about? Often, because we have our priorities twisted in the wrong direction, we end up chasing our tails and wasting time. Once we change gears, and focus only on those things that we have some capacity to control, it’s easy to get back on track.

It’s tempting to focus on aspects of life that are beyond our control. How often do you hear people complaining about taxes? While no one likes to pay taxes, and certainly no one should pay any more than he or she is legally required to pay, there is a great deal of wisdom in spending your time creating more wealth rather than complaining about taxes.

Go ahead and lobby for lower taxes if you must. Voice your opinion if you choose to do so. But once you have done what you can do, let go of it. Know when to quit. Expend your energy doing what you can do – focus on creation, creativity, positive ideas, and solutions. Stop complaining about taxes; focus, instead, on making so much money that taxes will seem irrelevant!

Never ever let success go to your head!

There’s an alarming trend taking place: People who have had some degree of good fortune and success tend to lose their humility and become at least slightly arrogant. This is very unfortunate for many reasons. First, and most obviously, no one really wants to be around someone who is arrogant. It’s boring, and it’s annoying! Arrogance implies a lack of gratitude. The assumption is, “I did this all by myself; it’s all about me.” Factors such as Lord’s blessings, good fortune, and so on are forgotten or disregarded.

In addition, when you allow success to go to your head, your stress levels skyrocket and your quality of life gradually disappears. People will stop liking you, and eventually, you’ll stop liking yourself.

Friendships slip away; obsessive busyness and a lack of time take over. Someone who was happy and relatively easy to please is now impossible to satisfy.

I’ve read articles about celebrities, athletes, and business people who have done really well – their talent, timing, hard work, luck, and all the rest of it kicked in at just the right time. Yet, rather than being grateful and keeping a sense of perspective, they think that they are somehow better or more important than others simply because they’re good at something and have enjoyed some success.

Never ever let success go to your head!

True Religion

At the present moment, no one actually knows the meaning of religion. Religion means to abide by the laws of God, just as good citizenship means to abide by the laws of the government. Because no one has any understanding of God, no one knows the laws of God or the meaning of religion. This is the present status of people in today's society. They are forgetting religion, taking it to be a kind of faith. Faith may be blind faith. Faith is not the real description of religion. Religion means the laws given by God, and anyone who follows those laws is religious, whether a Christian, a Hindu, or a Muslim.

The religious system might have been misused, but that does not mean that religion should be avoided. Real religion should be taken. It does not mean that because religion has not been properly executed by the so-called priests, religion should be rejected. If my eye is giving me some trouble on account of a cataract, it does not mean that the eye should be plucked out. The cataract should be removed. That is Krishna consciousness.

Avoid the trap of reaction spirals

It’s a rare person who can avoid the trap of reaction spirals. This is the dangerous tendency to overreact to something – and then compound the problem by over analyzing it. Here is a typical example: someone criticizes some aspect of your work. You overreact to the criticism and become defensive. Then you spend the next half hour analyzing the critical comments, convincing yourself they are incorrect. A whirlwind of thoughts passes through your mind. You focus on the criticism. The more you do, the worse you feel, and the more tired you become.

The truth is, in a negative state of mind, we expend unnecessary energy, make very poor decisions, and lose our creativity and sense of joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could nip these reaction spirals in the bud?

You can! The trick is to see them coming and to commit, in advance, to “short circuiting” them. With every negative reaction comes a negative feeling – a feeling of irritation, annoyance, or impatience. We often use these feelings to justify further negativity. For example, we say to ourselves something like, “I have a right to be angry.” Now that we’re focused on our anger, we think about other instances that make us angry, and so on. This fuels our negative feelings and creates a negative spiral.

If, instead of compounding our negative feelings, we used them as a signal to alert us to potential trouble, we would be in a much better position to stop the cycle before it got out of hand.

Never write an email when you’re mad or upset

The Internet – specifically, e-mail—has done wonders to increase our capacity to communicate. With lightening speed, we can now write letters, share ideas and even close deals. The benefits are astonishing.

There’s a downside to e-mail, however, that’s important to be aware of. The problem is, it’s tempting, when you’re mad or upset; to fire off an e-mail that you might very well live to regret.

In a reactive or upset state of mind, or when you’re lacking judgment or perspective, it’s easy to act impulsively rather than with composure and wisdom. In the blink of an eye, you can confuse someone, hurt their feelings, enrage them, or even destroy a relationship.

The good news is, the flip side of this issue is also true. If you’re mad at someone and are tempted to share your feelings via e-mail – but you manage to resist – your restraint can pay enormous dividends.

Who knows how many relationships are ruined, or at least adversely affected, every day, by someone clicking “send” instead of simply walking away?

Some practical advice is this: Whenever possible, when you’re upset, refrain from sending e-mails. It’s dangerous territory. Instead, wait until you cool off. In the long run, you’ll maintain good relationships, and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Cure for modern jaundice

If a man is suffering from jaundice and you give him a piece of sugar candy, he will say that it is very bitter. But is sugar candy bitter? No, it is very sweet. And the medicine for jaundice is that sugar. Modern science prescribes this, and it is prescribed in the Vedic literature also. So if we take a great quantity of this sugar candy, then we will be relieved from jaundice. And when there is relief, then one says, "Oh, this is very sweet." So the modern jaundice of a godless civilization can be cured by this chanting of Hare Krishna. In the beginning it may appear bitter, but when one advances, then he will see how pleasing it is.

We are so full of miseries because we have identified ourselves with the material world. Therefore we are unhappy. Anxieties and fearfulness are due to our misidentifying with the material world. As soon as one understands his identity, his relationship with God, then immediately he becomes happy.

Handling setbacks & failures

The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?

In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.

Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.

If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.

All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?

The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.

Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.

Express your gratitude toward others

The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.

People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.

The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.

It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.

By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships.

Illusioned courage

When rabbits are being attacked by bigger animals, they close their eyes and think, "I am not going to be killed." But they are killed anyway. Similarly, we may deny the existence of God and the law of God, but still God and His law are there. In the high-court you may say, "I don't care for the law of the government," but you will be forced to accept the government law. If you deny the state law, then you will be put into prison and be caused to suffer. Similarly, you may foolishly decry the existence of God—"There is no God" or "I am God"—but nevertheless you are responsible for all your actions, both good and bad.

There are two kinds of activities—good and bad. If you act nicely and perform pious activities, then you get good fortune, and if you act sinfully, then you have to suffer.

Avoid the phrase: I have to go to work

This article has to do with six of the most common words in the English language: “I have to go to work.”

In all probability, it’s absolutely true that you do “have to” got to work. Nevertheless, these particular words carry with them some really negative baggage that, I believe, is self-destructive.

Other than your thoughts, your words are your primary entry point into your experience. When you “have” to do something, it implies that it’s not a choice – that you would rather be somewhere else, doing something different. This, in turn, implies that your heart isn’t fully into what you are doing, which makes living up to your potential extremely difficult and enjoying your experience near impossible.

So, when you say, “I have to go to work,” you are in a subtle way setting yourself up for a bad day. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have a bad day – but it certainly increases the likelihood.

Beyond that, however, there is a more subtle negative message you send to yourself and to others. It seems that deep down, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t like my work. I’m not capable of choosing work that I enjoy.” What a horrible message to say to yourself (or to someone else) about something you spend most of your time doing! Think about it. If you really loved your work, why would you be saying, “I have to go to work? Do you ever say, “I have to start my weekend now”?

Never ever backstab

There are many good reasons why we should never backstab. First of all, it sounds terrible and makes us look really bad. When I hear someone slamming someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they are referring to, but it does say a great deal about the person who is backstabbing. To me, someone who slams a person behind his back is hypocritical or two-faced.

A person in a habit of backstabbing will put on a smile and say nice things to people but, behind their backs, he would act in a completely different way. To me that’s not fair play.

But aside from being a mean-spirited and unfair thing to do, backstabbing creates other problems as well. It causes stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings.

How does it feel to say nasty, offensive, and negative things about someone else who isn’t even there to defend themselves? Obviously, answer is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to discuss. I know that when I have backstabbed in the past, my words have left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I remember asking myself the question, “How could you stoop so low?” You simply can’t win this way.

Finally, it’s absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone, you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing with. Remember, most of the people you’re sharing with are your friends or colleagues. It’s important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy what you are saying, and even if they too are participating in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows that you are capable of backstabbing. They’ve seen it firsthand. It’s inevitable that they will ask themselves the question, “If he will talk behind someone else’s back, wouldn’t he be capable of doing the same thing to me? What’s more, they know that the answer is ‘YES’.

You catch more flies with honey

When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.

When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.

When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.

It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity.

If you want to stop crime...

The difference between a pious man and a criminal is that one is pure in heart and the other is dirty. This dirt is like a disease in the form of uncontrollable lust and greed in the heart of the criminal. Today people in general are in this diseased condition, and thus crime is very widespread. When the people become purified of these dirty things, crime will disappear.

The simplest process of purification is to assemble in congregation and chant the holy names of God. This is called sankirtana and is the basis of our Krishna consciousness movement. So, if you want to stop crime, then you must gather as many people as possible for mass sankirtana. This congregational chanting of the holy name of God will dissipate all the dirty things in everyone's heart. Then there will be no more crime.

Don’t worry if you do not have some facility

A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email that means you don’t exist. And who doesn't exist, can’t have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go every day earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied, ‘I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been If you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Be willing to apologize

Whenever you are in some service – or when you are taking risks, making things happen, interacting with others, or in the public eye – you are bound to make mistakes. At times you are going to use bad judgment, say something wrong, offend someone, criticize unnecessarily, be too demanding, or act selfishly. The question isn’t whether you will make these mistakes – we all do. The question is, can you admit to them? If so, the question becomes, can you apologize?

Many people never apologize. They are either too self-conscious, self-righteous, stubborn, or arrogant to do so. The unwillingness to apologize is not just sad; it is a serious mistake as well. Almost everyone expects others to make mistakes and with a humble and sincere apology, almost everyone is willing to forgive. However, if you are a person who is either unable or unwilling to apologize, you will be branded a difficult person to work with. And over time, people will avoid you, speak behind your back, and do nothing to help you.

The ability to apologize, to admit mistakes, is a beautiful human quality that brings people closer together and helps us succeed. By simply acknowledging our humanness and saying “I am sorry” when appropriate, we bond with others and increase their trust in us. Obviously, you must never apologize as a tool of manipulation, to try to get a response like this or to get something out of it.

When you apologize from your heart, you keep most of your existing doors open. Occasionally, you may even open doors that had previously been closed.

Do not panic unnecessarily

People panic about practically everything—missed deadlines, orders not received, comments by others, fear of mistakes, negative trends. You name it and someone has panicked about it. Yet I’ve never seen even a single instance where the panic actually helped to solve the problem. Instead, panic is neutral at best and greatly interferes at worst. Panic tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It makes others (and you) feel tense and fearful. It increases the likelihood of mistakes, missed opportunities and miscommunications.

Nothing interferes with the creation of success and abundance like panic. When you make the commitment to stop panicking, you’ll notice some incredible things happening. First, you’ll notice that a vast majority of what you are most worried about will never happen, or it won’t be as bad as you first thought. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Some terrible things happened in my lifetime – a few of which actually happened.”

By avoiding the panic, you won’t waste time, anxiety, and energy trying to solve what probably doesn’t need solving. Second, when you learn to keep your bearings, your wisdom will come forth. In the absence of worry, answers will emerge. Instead of a head full of concerns, you’ll create a head full of solutions. Finally, when you stay calm, you really do bring out the best in others. Many people react to the feelings of others. If you can maintain your bearings, chances are the people you work with will, too.

To bring forth your greatest potential, eliminate panic altogether from your thinking.

Learning from our glorious past

We are all more or less proud of our past Indian civilization, but we actually do not know the real nature of that civilization. We cannot be proud of our past material civilization, which is now a thousand times greater than in days gone by. It is said that we are passing through the age of darkness, the Kali-yuga. What is this darkness? The darkness cannot be due to backwardness in material knowledge, because we now have more of it than formerly. If not we ourselves, our neighbors, at any rate, have plenty of it. Therefore, we must conclude that the darkness of the present age is not due to a lack of material advancement, but that we have lost the clue to our spiritual advancement, which is the prime necessity of human life and the criterion of the highest type of human civilization.

Throwing of bombs from airplanes is no advancement of civilization from the primitive, uncivilized practice of dropping big stones on the heads of enemies from the tops of hills. Improvement of the art of killing our neighbors by means of machine guns and poisonous gases is certainly no advancement from primitive barbarism, which prided itself on its art of killing by bows and arrows. Nor does the development of a sense of pampered selfishness prove anything more than intellectual animalism. True human civilization is very different from all these states, and therefore in the Katha Upanishad there is the emphatic call "Please wake up and try to understand the boon that you now have in this human form of life. The path of spiritual realization is very difficult; it is sharp like a razor's edge. That is the opinion of learned transcendental scholars."

Thus, while others were yet in the womb of historical oblivion, the sages of India had developed a different kind of civilization, which enabled them to know themselves. They had discovered that we are not at all material entities, but that we are all spiritual, permanent, and indestructible servants of the Absolute. But because we have, against our better judgment, chosen to completely identify ourselves with this present material existence, our sufferings have multiplied according to the inexorable law of birth and death, with its consequent diseases and anxieties. These sufferings cannot be really mitigated by any provision of material happiness, because matter and spirit are completely different elements. It is just as if you took an aquatic animal out of water and put it on the land, supplying all manner of happiness possible on land. The deadly sufferings of the animal are not capable of being relieved at all until it is taken out of its foreign environment. Spirit and matter are completely contradictory things. All of us are spiritual entities. We cannot have perfect happiness, which is our birthright, however much we may meddle with the affairs of mundane things. Perfect happiness can be ours only when we are restored to our natural state of spiritual existence. This is the distinctive message of our ancient Indian civilization, this is the message of the Gita, this is the message of the Vedas and the Puranas, and this is the message of all the real acaryas.