Make allowances for incompetence!

Regardless of who you are or what you do, you are going to run into (and have to deal with) at least some amount of incompetence in your work life. Why not learn to take it in stride, and not let it bother you so much?

This acceptance of the way things really are will probably allow you to say (or think) something like, “Of course it’s going to be like this from time to time.” Rather than focusing on the most dramatic and extreme examples to validate your belief in rampant incompetence, see if you can recognize and appreciate the fact that most people do really well, most of the time. With a little practice and patience, you’ll cease being so upset over things you have very little control over.

By simply making allowances in your mind for something that is going to happen anyway, you’ll be able to dramatically improve the quality of your life. I know that dealing with incompetence can be frustrating – especially when the stakes are high. I can virtually guarantee you, however, that losing your cool isn’t going to help very much.

The next time you run into incompetence, rather than turning the incompetence into front page news in your mind, see if you can turn it into just another minor story. If you do, you’ll be free from yet another of life’s sources of frustration.

Count to 10 before you speak

If you react immediately to criticism then you’ll often react in a knee-jerk manner. And the words that come out may be overemotional, vicious and unnecessary. Count to at least 10 after someone has criticised you. Then respond.

This simple way of calming yourself down and regaining some perspective can save you a lot of trouble and help you avoid saying something you can’t take back.

It’s a good approach to avoid creating unnecessary problems.

Maybe you’ve heard this one before. It’s a great and practical way to look at criticism. It might be extra useful when dealing with angry, destructive criticism and nasty personal attacks.

“A man interrupted one of the Buddha’s lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him, “If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?”

“To the one who offered it,” said the man.

“Then,” said the Buddha, “I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.”

Simply don’t accept the gift of a criticism. You don’t have to. Then it still belongs to the person who offered it.

Don't let your own thoughts stress you out!

Think about how often we all have conversations in the privacy of our own minds. It happens, practically nonstop, all day long, every day of our lives. We’re in the car thinking about something – a deadline, an argument, a potential conflict, a mistake, a worry, whatever. Or we’re at the office or in the shower, doing the very same thing – and it all seems so real.

When we are thinking, however, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that we think thoughts, not reality. Let me explain. It may seem strange, but most of us have a tendency to forget that we’re thinking because it’s something that we’re always doing – like breathing. But until I mentioned breathing, you weren’t really consciously aware that you were breathing—were you?

Thinking works in a similar way. Because it’s such a part of us, we tend to give enormous significance and take very seriously most of the thoughts that drift through our minds. We begin to treat our thoughts as if they were the real thing, allowing them to stress us out.

If you reflect on this idea, you’ll probably be able to see the practical implications. When you have a thought, that’s all it is – a thought. Thoughts certainly don’t have the power or authority to stress you out without your conscious or unconscious consent. Thoughts are just images and ideas in your mind.

Listen to the criticism and get the details

When someone criticizes you, instead of attacking the other person(s) for their words and building a hostile atmosphere try to calm it down. Try to remain level-headed, open and figure out how this can help you. Even when someone blurts out something not too constructive like “Your work/blog/product stinks!” you might want to ask a few open-ended questions like:

- Why does it stink?
- How can I improve it?
- How can we solve this?

If they can’t answer your questions then they are probably just lashing out. But there is sometimes valuable information in negative criticism. Try to get practical and concrete details about what’s wrong. Perhaps there is already a solution to the problem but you need more information to realize that.

By improving the communication and making it more specific and detailed you can come closer to understanding each other and solving the problem. 

And if you can understand, help and change the mood of the one delivering the criticism he or she will probably appreciate it quite a bit. And you may have turned a potential conflict into a valuable relationship.

Going to hell requires great endeavor

The Lord is so friendly to the living entity that He remains within the heart so that one can always contact Him without difficulty. One can do this simply by devotional service. As soon as one hears of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, one immediately comes in touch with the Lord. Therefore there is no difficulty in coming in contact with the Supreme Lord. On the other hand, going to hell requires great endeavor. If one wants to go to hell by illicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication, he must acquire so many things. For illicit sex he must arrange for money for brothels, for meat-eating he must arrange for many slaughterhouses, for gambling he must arrange for casinos and hotels, and for intoxication he must open many breweries. Clearly, therefore, if one wants to go to hell he must endeavor very much, but if he wants to return home, back to Godhead, there is no difficult endeavor. To go back to Godhead, one may live alone anywhere, in any condition, and simply sit down, meditate upon the Supersoul and chant and hear about the Lord. Thus there is no difficulty in approaching the Lord. Because of inability to control the senses, one must go through great endeavor to go to hell, but if one is sensible he can very easily obtain the favor of the Supreme Personality of Godhead because the Lord is always with him. By simple method of hearing about the Lord, the Lord is satisfied. He says, "If one offers Me with love and devotion a leaf, a flower, fruit or water, I will accept it." One can meditate upon the Lord anywhere and everywhere. Thus one is advised to take this path back home, back to Godhead, without difficulty.

Make an ongoing effort to stop your mind from wandering!

Many times we are doing one thing, yet preoccupied with a dozen others. We’re distracted by our own thoughts, concerns, and worries.


When you have a strong presence you are completely absorbed in the moment and the people you are with sense that you are truly “right there” with them, fully present. Your mind isn’t drifting somewhere else. Instead, you are focused on what’s going on and you are truly listening to what is being said. All of your energy is focused on the person who is talking to you.


When you have presence with others, they are drawn to you. They relax around you and become undefensive. They enjoy your company and feel your sincerity; they feel important when they are with you.


The way to strengthen your presence is to understand its value. Make an ongoing effort to stop your mind from wandering. When you are with someone, be with them. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back. When you are doing something, don’t be thinking about something else. 


Try to have more presence, see it as a worthwhile goal, and it will appear in your life. Once you experience its value – and feel the effects – there will be no turning back. You’ll be hooked.

Domain knowledge is very important!!!

There was a family with one kid. One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the kid who just turned three.


Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when kid brought dad a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. 


After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea from father, kid's mom came home.


Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'


Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'


....Mother knows!!


MORAL OF THE STORY:
Domain knowledge is very important!!! 
Else your supplier will trick you......

I can challenge that you are not happy

I can challenge you that you are not happy in the present set up of your affairs. You may have in your possession your so called accumulated material wealth, health or happiness but still you are always feeling some insufficiency and frustration and thus you are not happy as you ought to have been. If you do not feel like this, then you must be either an abnormal man or a liberated saint or in gross ignorance of lower consciousness. Should you feel yourself abnormally happy, I shall ask you the following plain questions. They are as follows:— 
1) Do you like to die? 
2) Do you like to take your birth again? 
3) Do you like to be an old man? 
4) Do you like to be a diseased man? 
I am sure you shall reply to all these questions by saying the only word "No.'' If you think yourself happy then have you solved all the above problems in any way? Have your vast resources of material knowledge helped you in solving these seemingly common but very big problems? Do you think that you shall ever be able to solve the above problems? If you say so, I shall again call you in abnormal condition. Do not remain in ignorance for your problems. The way in which you are seeking to be happy or trying to make others happy in your manufactured ideology—is called "Maya'' or illusion. By this you have simply been credited with creation of much disturbances and entanglement for all concerned. That is the record of history of the material world. Empire may come and empire may go, the problems of life remain the same. Please therefore be cool-headed and patiently ask within yourself if you are really happy.

Become less self absorbed

A person who is self-absorbed takes him or herself extremely seriously. They value their own time – but no one else’s.  They are usually quite selfish with their time, love, and money, in addition to lacking compassion for those less fortunate. 


Self-absorbed people are arrogant and often treat others as instruments or objects to get something they want. They usually see only one point of view – their own. They are right, and everyone else is wrong, unless, of course, you agree with them.


People who are self-absorbed can be rude, insensitive to the feelings of others, and primarily interested in themselves – their own wants, needs, and desires.
Being self-absorbed is an ugly human quality. Beyond that, being self-absorbed is highly stressful – everything bothers or frustrates them. It seems that nothing is ever good enough.


Self-absorbed people often have very poor learning curves. Since they don’t listen well and aren’t interested in other people, they don’t have the advantage of learning from them.


Become less self absorbed!

We can’t compete with animals

Suppose you increase the span of life to many, many years. What is the use if the life is not properly utilized?  The trees are also living for many years. There are many living entities that are living many, many years more than you. So what is excellence on your part? "There are many animals that have got the facility of eating and sexual intercourse." How do we excel them? The modern civilization thinks they are advanced. In which way you are advanced? The animals, the trees, they are far advanced than you in this matter. So far bodily necessities are concerned, you cannot compete with them. We can fly by airplane. Oh, the vulture can fly more than you. It is a vulture, and it flies many miles above, and it has got very sharp eyesight. He is trying to find out, "Where is a dead body?" You see? Our, this advancement of science, increasing the sex power especially these days; but you have seen the dogs and cats. How much sex power they have got! So begetting children, the hog can beget children, at least three dozen a year. What we can do? In three years it is hardly we can produce one child. And the hog will produce in three years at least thirty-six children. So you cannot compete. Simply by competing in these things, animal life, that is not excellence of your life. Real excellence is that these animals, they cannot become Krishna conscious. That is the only difference. And if you lack in this matter of Krishna consciousness, then the other animals, lower animals, they are far, far advanced. You can excel all these lower animals, trees, birds, beasts and others, only by awakening your Krishna consciousness. That is the only business.

Learn to say ‘NO’ without guilt

One of the ways that many of us get ourselves into trouble is that we commit to too many things; we fail to say no.


Saying no without guilt is not selfish – it’s a protective necessity. If someone said to you, “Can I have the air you breathe?” you’d probably question their sanity. You certainly wouldn’t feel guilty saying no. Yet if someone says, “Can I ask you to do something for me that will push you over the edge and make you feel stressed out and resentful?”, there are many times that you’ll agree either out of habit, obligation, or simply guilt. Sure, the person probably didn’t phrase the request like that, but in reality, that’s what is being asked of you.


Obviously there are many times that we can’t say no, and many other times when it‘s in our best interest to say yes or that we simply want to say yes. Terrific! The trick is to use our wisdom, instead of old knee-jerk reactions, to decide when to say yes and when to say no. 


The key is to be reflective and to ask yourself, “All things considered – e.g., the feelings and needs of the person making the request, the need to say yes, and most importantly my own sanity, is it in my best interest to say yes, or is it okay to refuse? I think you’ll discover that, put in this perspective; there are probably many instances when it’s perfectly fine to say no.